Business Etiquette: A Leadership Perspective on Connection and Trust

Business Etiquette: A Leadership Perspective on Connection and Trust

By: Tori Keith. Since 2017, Tori has been a certified Business Etiquette Trainer with the Emily Post Institute, and she trains attorneys on specific topics relevant to professionalism in the legal industry.

Etiquette as the Foundation of Leadership Relationships

When most people hear the word “etiquette,” they picture a list of outdated rules, like knowing which fork to use or memorizing place settings from a bygone era. At its core, though, business etiquette has always been about smoothing interactions and making it easier to build and strengthen relationships.

When Emily Post, etiquette expert and founder of the Emily Post Institute, first wrote her book, her goal was to help people from vastly different backgrounds find common ground. At the time, cities were drawing in people from across the country and around the world, each with their own customs and communication styles. Etiquette gave people a way to connect more easily and treat one another with confidence and respect.

Today, we face a similar moment. After years of remote work, many of us are back to in-person meetings, client events, and conferences. At the same time, most workplaces now span multiple generations. Together, these shifts have put a renewed spotlight on the value of shared norms. Etiquette helps reduce uncertainty, build confidence, and create an environment where relationships—and by extension, business—can thrive.

That idea of etiquette as a bridge between people is what drew me to formal training in the field.

Bringing a Modern Lens to a Timeless Skill

The Emily Post Institute has been a trusted authority on etiquette for more than a century, translating timeless principles of courtesy and respect into practical guidance for modern life and business. Their approach focuses on helping people navigate situations with confidence, empathy, and authenticity.

I became certified in 2017, after reading an article about a sold-out etiquette course in New York. The participants were young professionals eager to stand out in competitive environments, many of them looking to develop “soft skills” they felt they hadn’t learned elsewhere. Having grown up with a grandmother who valued good manners, I saw an opportunity to blend that foundation with a modern framework of professional etiquette tailored to attorneys and legal leaders.

That training taught me how to adapt etiquette principles to today’s realities, from hybrid work etiquette meetings to multigenerational communication challenges. For example, while one generation may prefer a phone call, others lean toward email, and younger professionals often default to text or even social media. Choosing the right mode of communication can be a subtle but powerful way to show respect and ensure effectiveness. Years ago, I encouraged young attorneys to send handwritten thank-you notes after interviews. Today, a thoughtful email or timely text may be the better way to make an impression, depending on the culture and context.

Over time, I’ve seen how these principles play out in practice, especially for attorneys and legal leaders navigating the spaces between formal meetings and day-to-day interactions.

The Unscripted Moments That Shape Perceptions

Some of the most telling moments for etiquette aren’t in the boardroom or during a high-stakes negotiation. They happen in the in-between spaces—at a conference cocktail hour, over lunch with a prospective client, or in the moments before a board meeting begins.

For legal leaders, these moments are opportunities to build trust, earn confidence, and strengthen relationships. Small behaviors—like the way you make introductions, RSVP or follow through on an invitation, greet people with attentiveness, or respect others’ time—can make interactions smoother and open the door to deeper connections and greater influence.

It also leaves a lasting impression. In my work at Latitude and throughout my career in legal staffing and recruiting, I’ve seen how professionalism in these moments matters. Even if the outcome isn’t what you hoped, for example if a hiring decision doesn’t go your way or a prospective client chooses to work with a competitor, the way you carry yourself can leave the door open for future opportunities. Time and again, how leaders treat themselves and others becomes the measure of whether people want to work with them again down the line.

How Conversation Builds Leadership Trust

In professional settings, conversation is one of the most visible ways leaders demonstrate presence. Listening attentively, asking thoughtful questions, and keeping discussions inclusive all reinforce the culture you want your team to embrace.

I often connect this to “social capital”—the value we build through relationships and networks. Every positive interaction adds to that capital, and over time it allows leaders to navigate challenges and negative circumstances with greater resilience. It’s often the strength of those accumulated interactions that makes difficult situations easier to address and resolve.

In my experience, leaders often build this kind of social capital in simple but effective ways, such as:

• Asking thoughtful, open-ended questions that invite others into the discussion.
• Listening fully, without multitasking or interruptions.
• Offering help in ways that go beyond your immediate role, when it strengthens relationships with colleagues or clients.
• Using board or client conversations as opportunities to highlight your team’s contributions and build collective credibility.
• Creating space in conversations for different generational perspectives, showing respect for diverse communication styles.

Each of these small actions reinforces goodwill and strengthens trust, often in ways that pay dividends when difficult moments arise.

What Your Presence Communicates Before You Speak

Appearance also shapes perception. Even in an era of relaxed dress codes, how you present yourself communicates readiness and respect for the occasion.

This is an area where I’ve seen significant change. A decade ago, business attire was fairly rigid: no jeans, khakis and button-downs for business casual. Today, it’s about being appropriate to the setting while bringing your authentic style in a way that strengthens your professional image and reinforces your executive presence. The key is intention.

In my experience, ways leaders can use attire to reinforce presence and confidence include:

• Aligning attire with the tone of the boardroom, client meeting, or conference while still reflecting individual style.
• Using appearance as an extension of their leadership presence, particularly at conferences or high-visibility events.
• Showing up with the same polished presence whether you’re meeting with the CEO, a junior associate, or external counsel.

Present yourself in a way that allows others to focus on what you say and contribute, not what you’re wearing.

Turning Routine Interactions into Leadership Moments

Business meals happen in many contexts, such as with a client, a colleague, or a potential hire. Business dining etiquette can elevate already valuable moments into opportunity for deeper connection. When you’re comfortable in the setting, you can focus your energy on the people and the conversation itself.

In my experience, ways leaders use meals to strengthen relationships can include:

• Making thoughtful introductions that highlight others’ strengths.
• Engaging everyone at the table and drawing quieter voices into the discussion.
• Balancing business discussions with personal connection to build stronger rapport.

These small gestures reinforce presence as a leader and often leave lasting impressions. As Emily Post reminded us, eating is an inherently messy activity. Business dining etiquette isn’t about formality—it’s about creating ease, so the focus can stay where it matters most: on connection.

Staying Ahead as Professional Norms Evolve

Workplace norms are constantly changing, and professional etiquette adapts with them. Remote and hybrid work reshaped how we connect, and now technology is pushing the boundaries further.

A timely example is the use of AI tools and virtual assistants. Leaders will increasingly face questions about when and how to disclose their use. In my experience, the leaders who consider these questions early not only demonstrate foresight but also earn additional trust.

Some of the emerging questions leaders are beginning to navigate include:

• When to disclose the use of AI in client- or board-facing work.
• How to balance efficiency with authenticity when using virtual assistants.
• What new expectations may develop as technology becomes more embedded in daily workflows.
• Clarifying expectations for professional etiquette in hybrid or virtual work (camera use, participation, follow-up).

Thoughtful leaders who engage with these questions early will be well positioned to set the tone for their teams and their organizations.

Setting the Standard Others Will Follow

Etiquette has always been more than a set of rules. For today’s legal leaders, it’s a practical tool for making connections easier and reinforcing credibility and trust in every interaction. It influences how boards, executives, and clients experience your professionalism, and it naturally shapes the culture your team carries forward. Whether in a hybrid meeting or an in-person boardroom, professionalism shows up consistently—it’s part of how effective leaders build trust.

And in a profession built on credibility, etiquette and trust often go hand in hand.